


Thanks for the Memories

by nuuuge



Series: Sad Hoseok [7]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Hoseok-centric, I am trash for SKT, M/M, RIP, Sad Hoseok, Sadness, eSports, it's a thing, mentions of SKT T1, not much though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:11:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8309731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuuuge/pseuds/nuuuge
Summary: Hoseok and Youngjae's relationship takes a turn.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Bonjour mes amis!! 
> 
> it's been 10 thousand years and I'm sorry. Over the summer I worked on a different story, that I still haven't finished but will be done soon! So This took a bit of a break. Sorry for that. 
> 
> I hope you still enjoy this, even though you probably all forgot what this is about. (Sorry about that) I just had bad writers block and I didn't know how to continue this at all. RIP 
> 
> But now that uni started back up I had to procrastinate somehow and this seemed like a viable option. ahaha

Hoseok couldn’t believe it. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he curled up into the blankets on his small dorm room bed. He thought he was finally done with crying, done with pitying himself. These last weeks had been so amazing and endearing he didn’t think they’d end. 

He thought it was just the beginning. He thought things would go up after the terrible first semester he had to endure. But no, here Hoseok was, crying his eyes out and sobbing into his pillow, tears, snot and spit mixing into the fabric, but the young university students didn’t care. He was completely and utterly heartbroken. 

***

“Where are you going?” Seokjin asked casually when Hoseok picked up his books, throwing his laptop into his bag in the middle of their study session. 

Hoseok couldn’t help but grin at the older university student, his heart beating just a little bit faster at the mere thought of where he was going and who he would be seeing. Hoseok knew his cheeks were tinted red and he probably looked weird with how much he was smiling but he couldn’t help himself. 

Dates with Youngjae were hard to come by. The younger boy was way too busy for his own good with work most of the time that when he did text Hoseok, the older would gladly drop his university work and join the other for an evening out. 

“Youngjae and I are going to have dinner.” Hoseok explained. 

Namjoon chuckled, leaning back in his seat, stretching his long arms over his head, “He finally got released from his prison?” 

Hoseok rolled his eyes, “It’s not prison. He loves what he does. It’s his passion and I completely support him.” 

Youngjae didn’t go to university. He barely managed to graduate high school. The younger was too busy playing video games to focus on things like his education. He’d been scouted during his first year of high school for his hand-eye-coordination and knowledge of gaming and soon joined a professional team where he learnt to hone his skill. 

Hoseok had known about professional gaming, knew it was a thing, but never gave the profession a second thought until he met Youngjae; or as most would call him Choi ‘Cackle’ Youngjae. Playing on the same team as some of the best League of Legends players in the world. 

Youngjae had been on the team the year before, as a substitute for their AD Carry and been there when they’d won the World Championships in Berlin. This year Youngjae was a starter and a focal point of their five man unit playing in the online based game. 

Hoseok hadn’t known how much time and work went into a single game of League of Legends. Hoseok was terrible at video games, prefered less mechanical games like Pokemon more than anything else. Youngjae opened his eyes to a whole new world that the art major didn’t even know existed. 

“It’s totally a prison!” Najoon shouted after Hoseok as the art student ran out of the cafe they’d been studying in and calling for a taxi to take him to the other side of Seoul where he would meet up with Youngjae and just spend a fun filled night together. 

Hoseok loved to spend time with Youngjae. The younger was funny, friendly and an all around bright person. He didn’t have much time off, practicing 10 to 13 hours a day. His days off were spent reviewing previous matches and he always had to ask permission if he wanted to go out. Dating was out of the option for the players, only allowed if they rack in wins… something their team hadn’t been doing in the last few scrims. 

Hoseok was proud to say that in the past two months of knowing Youngjae and secretly dating him, he’d learnt a lot about the other and his passion. Hoseok had put in massive amounts of effort to learn about video games and the way League worked, with much help from Taehyung and Jungkook who were all on board the ‘Youngjae and Hoseok ship’ as they called it. 

Hoseok couldn’t help but stare out the window thinking of all the times he’d met up with Youngjae, all the hours the two spent texting and chatting. Those times Youngjae FaceTimed him in the middle of the night after hours of practice. The way Youngjae talked about his day and how he laughed. 

Hoseok couldn’t help but grin and feel like a teenage girl. Youngjae was so sweet, so adorable, just like a puppy and he was so glad to have met him. Sure, they were taking things very slowly, but that was mostly because of how busy Youngjae was. He’d recently been in China for some practice games against top ranked LPL teams. 

Yet there were some days where Youngjae just listened to Hoseok rant about art sculptures and new techniques, explaining his school work and showing the younger his best work. Youngjae made efforts to research art exhibits and sent news articles on art to Hoseok for research, doing his best to understand the older boys’ passion as well. 

Hoseok loved it. He couldn’t believe that he had been so lucky to meet Youngjae. It had been complete accident and yet the best one that could have happened. Youngjae had gotten a day off for having won all of his scrims and having played well in recent games and that one day off he’d gotten wasn’t spent with family, like the rest of his team, but with his friends and thanks to that day, that basketball game, Hoseok got to meet him. 

The taxi ride felt too slow, far too long for Hoseok. He hadn’t seen Youngjae in person since the younger had come back from China. They had played okay from what Hoseok had seen, making sure to try and tune in to most of the games on Twitch, but some were at bad times and Hoseok had to finish assignments, merely watching the games on the side. 

It really did something to Hoseok’s heart when he saw the younger so serious, discussing picks and bans with his teammates or how he’d squint at the screen every once in awhile if the going got tough on the bottom lane. Hoseok loved to see the emotional roller coaster on Youngjae’s face during a game, his every thought so obvious on display and the younger didn’t even know. 

After every match Hoseok would test Youngjae some encouraging words, just to let the other know he was there if he needed him to talk or vent or celebrate. 

Finally, after being stuck in traffic for a good half hour Hoseok made it to the restaurant Youngjae had told him to come to. The younger boy was waiting outside, thick jacket pulled tightly around his frame, scarf pulled up to his chin and a warm winter hat warming his ears. 

He looked just like a puppy and Hoseok just wanted to squeeze and hug the life out of Youngjae. So much adorableness shouldn’t ever be contained within just one person. 

Hoseok got out of the taxi, paying the driver and then running to hug the younger boy tightly to his chest. Youngjae also pulled the older closer, both just taking a few moments to enjoy the warmth and comfort of the other. 

Hoseok hadn’t even realized how badly he missed Youngjae. How he missed having the younger close to him, so warm and strong beside him. The cold winter air brushing against the didn’t even seem to faze the two boys, both just enjoying the feel of the others arm around them. 

“I missed you.” Hoseok whispered when he pulled away, pouting childishly, cracking Youngjae up. 

Youngjae looked best when he was smiling and laughing. Hoseok loved to hear that awkward breathy cackling laugh. It was almost like an addiction. He couldn’t get enough of the sound whenever Youngjae was around, so Hoseok always acted a little bit more dumb, made a few too many jokes, just to hear Youngjae laugh so heartily. 

“How are Mark and Jackson?” Hoseok asked the younger. Mark and Jackson decided to come out to their parents a week ago or so and Hoseok hadn’t had the time to text either of them about the outcome. 

“Everything went well. Mark’s parents are overjoyed about the whole thing, they love Jackson already.” Youngjae explained, hand moving down to wrap around Hoseok’s wrist, pulling the older into the small restaurant. 

Hoseok smiled, “That’s a relief. Mark had been texting me before about how worried he was. He was scared his sisters would get mad at him or something.” 

Youngjae shook his head, “Sometimes he just scares himself a little too much with his own thoughts. He is always stuck in his own head instead of saying things out loud.” The younger explained, sounding almost chastising about his older friend, “anyways, how is university going for you?” 

Hoseok grinned, “Pretty decent right now. I’ve been working on a metal sculpture for most of the semester!” Hoseok pulled out his phone, putting in his passcode before looking through the thousands of pictures he had, trying to find the most recent ones of his artwork. 

Youngjae looked at the pictures and gasped, completely amazed by the hard work that clearly went into the piece of art. He could see the intricate details in the welding and how important spacing and even colours seemed to be. 

“This is amazing! You’ll totally ace it!” He exclaimed happily. The wonder not leaving his eyes as more and more details seemed to come to life, the longer the young man looked at the pictures before him. He would zoom in on certain aspects and overall it was just amazing and so unique. 

“Thanks Youngjae.” Hoseok couldn’t help but blush as the other continued to stare at the piece of art before him. 

“I wish I had a talent like you did.” Youngjae whispered, “I’m just good at a stupid video game, but you Hoseok… you can make a difference! This is so incredible what you’re doing with your art and just wow…” Youngjae had no words to describe the older making Hoseok blush an even darker shade of red, moving from his ears all the way down his neck. 

Hoseok felt very warm all of a sudden in the restaurant, as though everyone was staring at him because Youngjae wasn’t being very subtle when it came to his praise. He kept looking back down at the image and to Hoseok, wonder in his eyes. 

“You’re amazing at video games though. When you go and help out Sanghyeok or you work together for those amazing combo attacks with Jaewan… I can’t look away even though I don’t understand anything! You’ll find what you’re good at after and maybe you’ll coach or manage a team after?” Hoseok explained. 

This time it was Youngjae that blushed a deep red. He couldn’t even imagine doing anything after his career as a star player was over. Often in eSports careers could be too short and Youngjae worried a lot about what was to come once he wasn’t the best at his position anymore. There were always new players, somewhere there would be someone better than him and it scared Youngjae to think that soon that someone would come and take his spot. 

“You’re so positive Hoseok…” Youngjae laughed, “Thank you for cheering me up.” 

Hoseok grinned, his heart hammering against his rib cage at the sound of the younger boys’ laugh and the sight of his bright smile. He couldn’t even fathom what he would be doing if he hadn’t met Youngjae. He loved spending time with him, loved how the other seemed to care for him and his talents even though he knew nothing of art. 

“We’re so cheesy.” Hoseok giggled, their ordered food finally making it to their table. 

“You love cheese hyung! Don’t even deny it!” Youngjae gasped loudly. 

Hoseok cackled and nodded, “Cheese is the greatest thing on the planet. Let’s not even think about what would happen if there was no cheese.” 

Youngjae laughed once more and dug into the food in front of him. Hoseok doing much the same. It was mostly silent while the two ate. Every once in awhile Hoseok would comment on something in the restaurant or Youngjae would spew a random thought causing the two to fall into a fit of giggles. 

The whole evening was calm and relaxing for the two. Hoseok felt so free around Youngjae, like nothing bothered him, while Youngjae was outside of his designated gaming house, doing something other than playing a game he loved. Both could just be themselves, no expectations, nothing weighing them down while they were together. It was relaxing and very soothing for the two young men. 

After dinner Youngjae paid, much to the protest of Hoseok. Youngjae shouldn’t spend his hard earned money on him or their dinners. Hoseok was ready to pay, but the younger had been too quick, flashing his card and running off to the cash register before Hoseok could even blink. 

Of course Hoseoks’ protests were met with none other than the wonderful cackling laugh of Youngjae that always had the older go weak at the knees. The pair didn’t want to part yet, the night still young and so they decided to walk around the calm streets of Seoul while trying not to get hypothermia. 

Youngjae took hold of Hoseok’s cold hands, his warm fingers intertwining with those of the older. They swung their connected hands between them, casually walking and talking for a bit, basking in one another’s presence. Hoseok loved this, how easy it was to spend time with Youngjae. How easy it all seemed to be when they were together. 

“This is so nice.” Hoseok whispered, curling close to Youngjae when a hard gust of wind seemed to shake the pair while walking through a small alleyway. 

“It is.” Youngjae agreed humming happily while Hoseok continued to cling to the younger boy for heat. 

Hoseok closed his eyes, took a deep breath and just enjoyed the smell of Youngjae. He let the feel of the others embrace surround him and Hoseok knew that even though they didn’t spend as much time together as they wished they could, that Hoseok felt an inkling of love for the younger and he wished he had the guts to tell him, but merely basked in the feeling by himself, rather than potentially ruin their date by throwing such a bombshell at the younger who seemed far too carefree to feel the same way. 

Hoseok just continued to enjoy the date, enjoy the warmth of the younger before having to go back into a warm taxi and back to his, most probably, empty dorm room. 

***

Another sob shook his frame as fingers fumbled for his phone, a few blind clicks later and the ringtone was going off. Hoseok didn’t want to be alone, no he couldn’t be alone right now. He just wanted to have someone here to hold him and calm him down. 

Hoseok felt so stupid. So god damn stupid. He hadn’t even thought that something like this could… that it could happen. He had never thought so far ahead and the image of Youngjae just broke his heart even more. The mere thought of his name caused more sobs to shake his thin frame. 

“Hoseok?” Seokjin whispered on the other end of the phone. 

Hoseok managed to stutter out a weak ‘hyung’ and then the older hung up, saying something about being on his way. Hoseok didn’t wait long at all before Seokjin barged into the room, eyes ablaze, ready to set fire to anyone who got in his way. 

“Hobi… Hoseokkie… what happened?” Seokjin asked, eyes changing within seconds of seeing his younger friend curled up under a thick blanket, eyes red, snot running down his nose. His skin was red from having cried so much, chest heaving with lack of oxygen. 

“Youngjae…. He…. we… he… we broke up!” Hoseok exclaimed and rushed forward into the waiting arms of Seokjin, “He… he got in trouble with his team.” Hoseok whispered, hiccuping sadly, “They found out he was dating and they got mad and he didn’t want to but… it is for the best!” Hoseok exclaimed, “I told him we have to!” 

Hoseok couldn’t even think properly. When Youngjae had called him hours before asking to come over Hoseok didn’t think too much of it, had dropped some of his schoolwork and then rushed to the other side of town where the other was waiting. 

Never before had Hoseok seen Youngjae so mad and desperate. He’d explained how the team manager had found out about him dating, how he’d said it was in his contract not to date and how he would be kicked off if he didn’t break up with Hoseok. Youngjae had looked so mad, so furious at the suggestion, but Hoseok understood. 

This wasn’t just a game for Youngjae, this was his whole life and if he was going to get kicked off the team for something like dating, then Hoseok would have to be the adult. It hurt him so bad to tell Youngjae they had to break up, but he knew that the younger was far too stubborn to do it. 

Youngjae had seemed to cripple at the words Hoseok forced out, had cried when Hoseok had told him how he should go and play the game he loved, because Hoseok couldn’t be with him. Hoseok couldn’t be with someone who didn’t take their relationship serious enough. Hoseok spewed lies at the other to get him to leave, while on the inside Hoseok was screaming and breaking down. 

Through tears and sobs, Hoseok managed to explain the situation. Explain how Youngjae was leaving for Brazil where the Mid Season Invitational was taking place in a few weeks and that he didn’t need any distractions from Hoseok. 

Of course just as Hoseok finished his explanation, the door to his dorm room opened and in walked none other than Yoongi. The older boy and Hoseok had been quite civil with one another, hanging out every once in awhile, talking about their dates and other things like that, but it wasn’t the same as how it had been before. 

Yoongi stopped mid step, eyes landing on Hoseok who looked completely broken. HIs face screwed up into a painful mask, eyes red, face just as red and rings under his exhausted eyes. He just looked like a complete mess in an oversized hoodie and basketball shorts, hair sticking up in all directions. The snot lining his chin didn’t help matters. 

“What happened?” Yoongi jumped in, quickly joining the pair in the bed, trying to get as close to Hoseok as possible. He hadn’t seen his best friend in such a state since the accident. He didn’t even think anything could make Hoseok cry as much as he had back then, and yet here Yoongi was, sitting in his shared university dorm, watching as Seokjin tried to calm the younger down. 

Hoseok was hurting and the first person he called wasn’t Yoongi, no it was Seokjin. 

“Him and Youngjae broke up…” Seokjin explained, not wanting Hoseok to build himself into another panic attack at the mere thought of having to explain the whole situation again. 

Yoongi gasped. Sure, he hadn’t been as close to Hoseok as he used to be, but that didn’t stop Hoseok from gushing about his gamer boyfriend. It didn’t stop Hoseok from showing Yoongi all the stats he didn’t actually care about or understood much of, but he had seen the shine in his friends’ eyes, how happy Hoseok was once again, just because of the slightly younger boy. 

“It’s stupid… I know…” Hoseok whimpered, “But I really really liked him…” He coughed a little, Seokjin pulling Hoseok closer to his chest and shushing him with a calming hand stroking through his messy hair. 

“Hoseok… it’s not stupid. You both really care for one another and it’s a stupid contract issue that caused this. Once Youngjae gets a new contract he can have that clause taken out…” Seokjin tried to reason but it sounded weak even to his own ears. 

“I’m going to miss him.” Hoseok whispered, “I didn’t even want a relationship, but it was so easy with Youngjae…” He couldn’t help as more tears began to flow, his cheeks staining once more with the unwanted waterworks. His breath came out in short bursts once more, clinging tightly to the oldest. 

“Don’t worry Hoseok… we’re here for you. All of us are.” Yoongi whispered, hand reaching out to intertwine his fingers with those of Hoseok. 

The younger looked to his roommate, eyes shining with tears, “You promise?” He sounded so broken, so unsure and Yoongi hated it. He hated how it was him and his stupid words, his stupid, selfish behaviour that caused this doubt in Hoseok. 

Hoseok tried to hide how he didn’t fully trust the older anymore, tried to keep everything as normal as could be, but it was obvious that it wasn’t. It was such a mess that Yoongi wished time travel had been invented so he could somehow mend his friendship with Hoseok. Seeing the younger so broken, because of a boy and Yoongi helplessly standing by as someone else comforted him hurt his ego more than anything. 

Yet Yoongi knew that a few months ago it had been him who had caused Hoseok to cry just as much. 

Yoongi smiled and nodded sadly, “I promise Hoseok…” 

He would do anything in his power to help Hoseok through this tough time, would help him even in his good times, because Jung Hoseok was his best friend, at least he hoped Hoseok was still his best friend. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I've been way too into eSports lately and watching all the SKT videos I can, even though I don't understand anything, has given me life. Honestly Faker is the most adorable human being on the planet and I hate him for it. Just imagining him and Youngjae on the same team kills me because it's too much adorableness. 
> 
> Also, please don't hate on Youngjae in this... like he would have stayed with Hoseok if he could have... it was just... yeah I don't know... I was like: Meh I'll make the break up, but still potentially stay friends? But that's hard so yeah... I'm sorry... LOVE YOUNGJAE OKAY!!! 
> 
> And yeah I don't know I'm rambling because I haven't written in so long I guess lmao. 
> 
> Kudos/Comments? Anything?


End file.
